Remembering My Abuelita, Today and Always
(Originally published on Aug. 22, 2017)
Exactly one year ago today, I was sitting outside at a restaurant in Mexico City with my mom, sister, and abuelita (grandma) enjoying chilaquiles for breakfast. Three generations of Mexican woman gathered around one table for chisme, historias y comida ("gossip, stories, and food"). Since I did not grow up in the same country as my abuelita, gatherings like this rarely happened. I will always remember this day because, unknown to me then, it would be the last time I would see her.
It's been three months since my abuela passed away and I am still trying to figure out how I can honor her legacy as the strong and loving woman she was. Like I mentioned, I did not grow up spending a lot of time with my abuela because she lived in Mexico City and I lived in California. However, she did visit a few times when I was growing up, staying for months at a time, to spend time with my mom, my siblings, and I. Then, I was shy to speak Spanish so I often listened more than I spoke and observed her even more while she interacted with others.
I would be lying if I said I was an ideal granddaughter who called my grandma often and visited her whenever I could. I did not do those things as often as I should have and in all honesty, I never tried hard enough to get to know her. However, she would never hesitate to call me every year on my birthday or send me gifts from Mexico, many of which are adorned in my room. We weren't very close and I am not sure if distance is to blame and now that she is gone, I realized I could have tried harder. That being said, I envied my classmates and friends growing up who might let out a big sigh and say, "I have to spend time with my grandma this weekend." If only I could have easily spent time with her too. It wasn't until I visited Mexico City on my own over the last few years that I realized how special my abuelita was to me and every one of her seventeen grandchildren.
I knew limited information about my abuelitas upbringing and life, but more started to be uncovered in the wake of her passing. My abuelita was from Veracruz, Mexico and moved to Mexico City where she met my abuelo (grandpa). My abuela's side of the family knew how to speak Nahuatl, also known as Aztec, which is where my mom learned a few words herself. She worked in different positions at the Palacio de Correos de Mexico (Postal Palace of Mexico City), which is a beautiful building in the center of the city. She was a single mom who raised six children on her own since my abuelo was absent throughout their lives. Even after all her children were grown, she never hesitated to care for her grandchildren. Her favorite flowers were roses, she loved to wear scarves, and she looooved spicy food.
These are just a few of the things I know about my abuela and I still have so much to learn. I will always carry these facts about her, but more importantly I will never forget her spirit and love. She was selfless, loving, compassionate, strong, intelligent, hardworking, and proud. All the things I see in my own mom and all the things I hope to see in myself one day. My abuelita was a fierce woman and everything she did was always for others. She sacrificed a lot of herself to give and provide for her family. I am so proud to be her granddaughter because she has shown me the importance of love and commitment, hard work and sacrifice, and the power in being an independent woman. Her legacy lives on through my mom because I see so much of my abuelita in her, the love, joy, hard work, and overall devotion to loved ones. And for that I will always know I have a piece of her with me, watching over me today and always.
Te extraño mucho abuelita.
Hasta que nos vemos otra ves.
("I miss you a lot grandma. Until we see each other again.")
